tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post8613245002388499730..comments2023-07-23T03:58:11.840-04:00Comments on Corkboard Connections: How to Cope with a Disrespectful ParentLaura Candlerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09197589693576774035noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-76721372027933385722017-09-03T11:52:51.297-04:002017-09-03T11:52:51.297-04:00I've had a similar situation where I did leave...I've had a similar situation where I did leave to find an administrator - and the parent followed me. It was probably the best thing that could have happened in the end as she was highly aggressive and unreasonable and this probably further substantiated their support of me. I never engage with any form of discussion over email that's not logistical based - phoning or meetings are always better so if I get something unsavoury- it's always "thanks for bringing that to my attention and here are three times we could meet" and I always invite someone from admin or another teacher with some kind of learning involvement if I'm concerned. I always take minutes (actually sometimes I pretend I've just invited the other teacher to take minutes for me) which I get the parent to sign and I always prepare a lot of evidence for any meeting. Sometimes it's the ones you aren't worried about that catch you. I really hope this teacher doesn't get discouraged from the profession for something like this happening so early in their career. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03504870531815886558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-51265174261890636572016-11-11T11:33:09.136-05:002016-11-11T11:33:09.136-05:00I am a third year teacher and I had a set of disre...I am a third year teacher and I had a set of disrespectful parents come in to parent teacher conferences. I had invited them to attend, I was hoping to develop a plan to help their child Pass class. Instead they immediately attacked my teaching methods, Said that their child was unsafe, and called me unqualified. And said that I wasn't doing my job to connect to their child. I tried to defend myself, and got scolded about interrupting. I am all for supportive parents, especially ones that take an interest in their children's lives. This wasn't exactly what I had imagined. I have had conferences with disrespectful parents but I have never ban in one where the parents refused to believe anything I had said. Not sure what to do besides take the case to the principal. If they don't believe me, and feel that Their child is unsafe, should I I pull their child out of the class? They want that, but is that being a bad teacher?sologirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15665901758457958550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-40738359509121018522016-10-29T21:01:12.660-04:002016-10-29T21:01:12.660-04:00Sometimes , at least in their own minds, the paren...Sometimes , at least in their own minds, the parents are compensating. The roughest parents I had one year had just gone through a very long, nasty divorce and had dragged their child right through the middle of it. Another year the ones that gave me the hardest time were away from home by choice quite often, with their children spending the bulk of their time with babysitters. Its like they're saying, "I'm a good parent...ok, maybe I haven't done the best job with *fill in the blank*, but other people in my kids life mess up too. The number of complaints I've brought up proves they probably mess up more than I do. It also proves I must be doing good job parenting because I have super high standards and I'm all over everyone that doesn't measure up to them.seen ithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15294022429120772369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-40959594185375639122016-10-10T15:01:39.232-04:002016-10-10T15:01:39.232-04:00“Hello, I am a college student and am studying edu...“Hello, I am a college student and am studying education! This past summer I had the experience of working in a Summer Day Camp. Although I had no say in how our program was run, the parents would come to me with their problems and verbally abuse me. I did not know how to handle these situations at first, because it happened with a couple parents off and on. Eventually I had to quit this job to come back to school now, but those experiences led me to realize the importance of being aware that not every parent is going to be respectful. Thank you for your wise, encouraging, supporting advice! Reading your post gave me a greater awareness, and a better understanding of how to cope with these situations. Thanks again! This is a great post.Elsa Bouwkamphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08421757377814153675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-71774104170724792652016-10-10T14:59:55.726-04:002016-10-10T14:59:55.726-04:00Hello, I am a college student and am studying educ...Hello, I am a college student and am studying education! This past summer I had the experience of working in a Summer Day Camp. Although I had no say in how our program was run, the parents would come to me with their problems and verbally abuse me. I did not know how to handle these situations at first, because it happened with a couple parents off and on. Eventually I had to quit this job to come back to school now, but those experiences led me to realize the importance of being aware that not every parent is going to be respectful. Thank you for your wise, encouraging, supporting advice! Reading your post gave me a greater awareness, and a better understanding of how to cope with these situations. Thanks again! This is a great post.Elsa Bouwkamphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08421757377814153675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-34181847575534104182016-03-09T09:46:05.090-05:002016-03-09T09:46:05.090-05:00I had been a teacher for 14 years and know how it ...I had been a teacher for 14 years and know how it is being in that teacher's shoes . To recount an experience I had with a parent who was new to school as was his child . It was regarding grading as the parent believed his child was the best and had to be given a full grade even if there were mistakes on the paper. At first I didn't know how to handle the situation but then I kept calm , listened to him calmly ; raised my voice to tell him what I thought and then walked out of the room .Being a Private school I understand that at times , some parents think they can get away with whatever they say simply because they are paying fees . They never realize that every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction . That parent had to move his child out of school as the child tended to become more unruly in behavior in later years . <br />I feel if a teacher is hurt by what has happened ; God deals with such situations as I learnt a few years later .A parent had talked badly to a Headmistress saying what do You know about children ( the Headmistress didn't have kids but she was one loving and kind teacher) in a situation in which the child had missed his lunch bag .Years later when the headmistress was in charge of that child's grade ; the child lost his parent who had spoken so harshly . How much the Headmistress would have felt that day years back and see how God reacted to that situation . I always pray that kind of a punishment should never come to any child because of the way his/her parent behaved . What I had learnt was never take what a disrespectful parent says into heart But pray to God to help you talk in such situations .<br />Elizabeth :) ben-robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09935567087477243128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-38932924025572570122016-01-01T13:09:05.734-05:002016-01-01T13:09:05.734-05:00I'll bet that at least some of these parents k...I'll bet that at least some of these parents know each other outside of school (neighbors, sports teams, etc.) and have built up things through discussions, facebook, etc. I once car pooled to my son's field trip with other parents who didn't know I was a teacher. I was shocked at the negative discussion about his awesome teacher and after a few minutes, went on a rant about how unfair they were (it was a quiet ride after that!) Anyway, not having admin support is awful and I would definitely let him/her know how you feel. You could ask if s/he thinks that you are in the wrong here. If s/he say no but you need to just placate the parents, remind him/her that it may be seem easier to let you take the blame and not stand up to these bullies but that this will go on and on until he does (even with the new teacher that he moves them to.) You are not a new teacher and should feel confident telling him/her (in a non-threatening way) This should be his/her fight, not yours. That's part of the admin's job.i-teach-too!https://www.blogger.com/profile/08653332139805854610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-31304304668091360142015-11-13T19:27:57.030-05:002015-11-13T19:27:57.030-05:00said...
I have been a day to day casual teacher fo... said...<br />I have been a day to day casual teacher for three years but this year I have been lucky enough to have my own class for the first time. I work in a low socio economic area and was warned that few of the parents do not communicate well with the school. As a result I stayed away from contacting parents until I came to know their children. My school principal gets abused by a few parents, as a result I know that I am lucky enough that he knows how it feels if any teacher gets abused by parents. This has helped me to think and prepare myself just in case a parent abuse me. So far I did not have to practice this exercise, but I hope that if and when it happens I will be prepared. My first thought is to put my hand between the parent and I, as a sign for the parent to stop. At the same time I will say the word, 'stop', hopeing that I will take control of the situation. Then I will say to the parent, 'if you need to speak to me, you need to go to the office and make an appointment'. If the parent ignores me and continues to abuse me, I will say to the parent, 'sorry but I have to leave now. Make sure to remember to make an appointment before leaving the schoo'l.<br />My thought are, if the parent does not make an appointment, then that parent is a bully. If the parent asks to make an appointment, I will make sure to see that someone from the school who I feel comfortable with, be present for the meeting. I will not bring up the way that I was spoken to, but remind the parent at the beginning of the meeting that we are all working for the interest of the child.<br />If by any chance the parent does not make the meeting and abuse me again, I will point out to the parent that this is the second time that he/she has talked inappropriately to me and if he/she does it again, I am going to take this kind of action seriously as it is a form of bullying. I will also remind the parent that there are lots of witnesses since the discussion is happening outside and it is important to consider that these witnesses are getting a bad impression about this parent. Most importantly it is not right for the children who are watching and listening to this kind of verbal abuse to think that this is ok. We need to show children not only to talk about bullying but this will be a good example of how to stand up and say' no to bullying'.<br />Hope that this reading can help in some way, as teachers deserve better understanding by all parents. After all we are in a way the 9am to 3pm adopted parents for our class children, especially in the primary schools.<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01027027889360881516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-22633516951132114392015-11-13T19:27:24.921-05:002015-11-13T19:27:24.921-05:00said...
I have been a day to day casual teacher fo... said...<br />I have been a day to day casual teacher for three years but this year I have been lucky enough to have my own class for the first time. I work in a low socio economic area and was warned that few of the parents do not communicate well with the school. As a result I stayed away from contacting parents until I came to know their children. My school principal gets abused by a few parents, as a result I know that I am lucky enough that he knows how it feels if any teacher gets abused by parents. This has helped me to think and prepare myself just in case a parent abuse me. So far I did not have to practice this exercise, but I hope that if and when it happens I will be prepared. My first thought is to put my hand between the parent and I, as a sign for the parent to stop. At the same time I will say the word, 'stop', hopeing that I will take control of the situation. Then I will say to the parent, 'if you need to speak to me, you need to go to the office and make an appointment'. If the parent ignores me and continues to abuse me, I will say to the parent, 'sorry but I have to leave now. Make sure to remember to make an appointment before leaving the schoo'l.<br />My thought are, if the parent does not make an appointment, then that parent is a bully. If the parent asks to make an appointment, I will make sure to see that someone from the school who I feel comfortable with, be present for the meeting. I will not bring up the way that I was spoken to, but remind the parent at the beginning of the meeting that we are all working for the interest of the child.<br />If by any chance the parent does not make the meeting and abuse me again, I will point out to the parent that this is the second time that he/she has talked inappropriately to me and if he/she does it again, I am going to take this kind of action seriously as it is a form of bullying. I will also remind the parent that there are lots of witnesses since the discussion is happening outside and it is important to consider that these witnesses are getting a bad impression about this parent. Most importantly it is not right for the children who are watching and listening to this kind of verbal abuse to think that this is ok. We need to show children not only to talk about bullying but this will be a good example of how to stand up and say' no to bullying'.<br />Hope that this reading can help in some way, as teachers deserve better understanding by all parents. After all we are in a way the 9am to 3pm adopted parents for our class children, especially in the primary schools.<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01027027889360881516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-44385011379750265372015-11-08T23:24:24.258-05:002015-11-08T23:24:24.258-05:00This is my 19th year to teach and I have been fort...This is my 19th year to teach and I have been fortunate enough to have only a few very disrespectful parents...until this year. I have had 6. Yes, that's right 6. Out of the 10 weeks of school, I have had only 2 weeks of not being called to the principal's office for bizarre claims of my having inappropriate discussions in class (4th grade), being rude to students and/or parents, etc., etc. These 6 people went straight to our new-to-our-school principal trying to see what they could get away with while through me under the "bus." I've never been so anxious, depressed, and ready to quit. Two students were moved out of my class to another. The other three, the principal and I worked with the parents through a series of meetings. It's been exhausting, time consuming, and down right frustrating, but after week 11 things have finally calmed down. These parents were just plain bullies (as per my school counselor) and I was about to go to my Teacher Association. My question is Why do parents think they need to be so mean to teachers?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00303516734065478203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-871736047643866747.post-31770782391346173322015-11-07T09:51:44.873-05:002015-11-07T09:51:44.873-05:00Great post. It's been a long time since I'...Great post. It's been a long time since I've had a truly disrespectful or unfair parent, but I sure remember what it felt like! When it happened, I had an extremely supportive principal. These are great tips. It never hurts to be prepared for the worst! Thanks.<br />Jan<br /><a href="http://laughterandconsistency.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Laughter and Consistency</a>JanCThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16323714603094527618noreply@blogger.com